Tired

Some days I just get really tired.  I get tired of trying to puzzle things out in my mind, in trying to figure out what is the right thing to do when all my options seem gray.  I get tired of finding the best thing and am tempted to simply settle for good enough.  I get tired of doing what I thought was right, only to find myself doing more work or causing more pain or struggling with more things.

In the context of work, sometimes I wonder if I am doing too much or caring too much... bearing too much of the weight of the world on my shoulders.  In the context of my personal life, sometimes I wonder if I am being too complex, too self-conscious, too conscientious and if I should simply do what my gut instinct tells me to, consequences be damned.

I get tired and I wonder if I will ever be able to "make it" and achieve that wondrous plateau where all things are finally well and at peace.

Then I remember that doing the right thing was never promised to be easy, that the road to righteousness is narrow, and that we are called to carry a cross and not a feather duster.  I remember that we have a Savior, that we have a Protector, and that his name is Wonderful.  O Savior!  Carry me but a little further for a little longer.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents. ¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
   where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.
 ³ He will not let your foot slip—
   he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.
 ⁵ The LORD watches over you—
   the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
   nor the moon by night.
 ⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
   he will watch over your life;
⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
   both now and forevermore.